Saturday, August 30, 2008

9:26 PM

the more i do, the more i get things screwed up...
all i wanted to do was to get you something and i wasnt ready to...
im terribly sorry...

3:56 PM

a nice novel sidney intro-ed me. go read.
http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm

yesterday lots of unpleasant things happened.
dont wish to blog about it...

and i'm sorry

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

10:27 PM

English language--------------------54.4 C6
Higher chinese-----------------------68.7 B3
Combined humanities----------64.0 B4
Mathematics-------------------------60.9 B4
Additional mathematics-------49.0 D7
Physics------------------------------------33.4 F9
Chemistry-------------------------------60.0 B4

Mean Subject Grade(MSG) - 5.3
L1R5 - 28

happy that results are better than SA1
but sad because no a's at all...b3 is the best...
28 is still damn high ):
so depressing to see the results...

1:32 PM

worse than hell...

Monday, August 25, 2008

11:32 PM

sorry for the swearings in this post. its damn long. can dont read.

tmr im seeing doctor again...sec1 band prac or sectional rather, will be taken by andy. waihong has leadership course...wednesday band prac for national anthem and victorian anthem. dont know what time it will end and i doubt i can have sectional that day. thursday is probably busy with teacher day stuffs...and sectional will be cancelled. friday if got band prac mr tan will scold again. i cant play a shit again. i have to fake and feel guilty. i just cant have a fucking proper sectional once a week.

individuals. no time for sectional where does my individual time come from? no individuals how to help my section in the pieces? my sense of rhythm is weaker than everyone else. spamming the recording of symphonic dances and staring hard at the score doesnt help much. get to know abit of the starting. towards the middle part i can hardly hear a shit from trombone. dont even have time to try out, cant figure the rhythm on my own, i might as well quit band lar. fuck...

i cant improve. tone ok so what? not as if holding long notes throughout the concert -.- such useless sl for what? give me just one post. sp. im happy enough. i let winston and marcus down. they think highly of me being sl yet i cant do a shit to help my section they not cooperating with me and the limited time i spend with them. sectional always not productive. mr tan conduct sectional all tiam tiam there then play so nice. i take only all give me shit.

morning assembly. me andy and russell never play. trombone section like wiped out. only waihong supporting the whole section. spencer pro so what? cant hear a shit from him. whole day blame bracers. winston and christopher could blast paddle Bb with braces. ask you hold long notes. you gave me the fuck face. if you want the sl to motivate you to work hard. you think the sl see you like that not sian isit? i motivate you, you motivate me.

ask you what you want to improve on, you told me all achieved. since it is so, what for join vscb? we are a bunch of students who wants to make music. most of us start from scratch. we are not that pro. you dont have to look down on us.

"its a crime to be brilliant". fuck off. you think you that pro go join tkwo lar. vscb only take in those with passion to make our dreams come true. not those fuckers who think they pro and yet isnt. i teaching halfway must cut into me and started taking over. i keep quiet but it doesnt mean i dont care. you do that is equal to saying "you suck" right in my face. at least respect me lar. you want teach, you take over the sl post. we can always discuss with mr tan and
the teachers. if not fucking shut up and do what i tell you to.

sometimes its like you want to do something and cant do it is worse than you didnt do anything. you feel so helpless and wished that god was next to you to help you solve this. please lar...im just a se3 student. my studies so fucked up. now add in band. i fucking screw up everything lar. i also have my limits lar...think i made of metal can withstand any amount of pressure...

"aiya pump then pump lor" sounds familiar? i bet this came across most of your minds when i pump you all. not i want to. but its the fastest way to get things drilled into your heads...now is the juniors shouting at the seniors that pump them wrongly. it wasnt this all along. senior pump we tiam tiam do liao and get over with it. now? pump 20 only complain this complain that. fuck up...

adding to it, family problems...FUCK MYSELF man...its so tiring to live on...

Monday, August 18, 2008

9:57 PM

Quiz time!
1.The person who tagged you is:
Yong Jie

2.Your relationship with him/her is:
Err schoolmate and chinese class classmate bah.

3. 5 impressions you have of him/her:
- very emo
- sleeps alot in class
- super dark!
No more le. maybe im not that close to him bah.

4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you:
Hmm let me see...giving me a little words of encouragement
and asking me to dont sad :/

5. The most memorable words he/she has said to you:
"Ehh dont emo leh" i was just resting at that time :/

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
Err not possible de lar...

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to
improve on will be:
Be fairer!

8.If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
Disturb him when he sleeping. dont give him peace =x

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
Too dark.

10. The most desirable thing you want to do for him/her
now is:
Get him his her(:

11. Your overall impression of him/her is:
Nice guy but too dark. and im jealous of it ):

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you:
Not sure...dont wish to know. confirm something negative...

13. On the contrary, the characteristic you hate about
yourself is:
Medical condition ):

14. The ideal person you want to be is:
Mr nice guy that everyone likes.

15. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
Thank you and i love you (:

16.Pass this on to 10 people you with to know how they feel
about you: (dont have to do if you dont want to)
1. Sidney
2. Vanessa
3. Ashley
4. Andres
5. Yongkang
6. Kasidet
7. Shaowei
8. Rei-en
9. Xinyi
10. Weiliang
(not of any particular order)

Who is no.6 (Kasidet) having a relationship with?
Err i dont know. heard from him was a guy :S

Is no.9 (Xinyi) a female or male?
Female.

If no.7 (Shaowei) and 10 (Weiliang) are together, will it be
a good thing?
No way...gays!!! I hate gays =x

How about no.5 (Yongkang) and 8 (Rei-en)?
Juicy news man. How would they even know each other?
either of them must be a stalker :/

What is no.2 (Vanessa) studying about?
Literature. i failed my sec2 eoy lit, 39.3 F9.

When was the last time you had a chat with no.3 (Ashley)?
Last night.

What kind of music band does no.8 (Rei-en) like?
Metal! i downloaded one of them for her the other time.
whats with girls who listen to metal?

Does no.1 (Sidney) have any siblings?
Yes, 2 beautifully elder sisters whom yu tian thought was
his mum. haha

Will you woo no.3 (Ashley)?
Shall skip this. Later tongues start rolling :/

How about no.7 (Shaowei)?
NO! hes a bitch. cannot cannot.

Is no.4 (Andres) single?
Beats me. i want to know too. be honest no.4!

What is the surname of no. 5 (Yongkang) ?
Omg if i wasnt asked this question, i wouldnt know that
i didnt know O: im sorry yongkang :/

What is the name of no.10 (Weiliang)?
Chang wei liang

What's the hobby of no.4 (Andres)?
Hmm. according to him, its making friends and making
them SMILE. haha. very nice friend^^

Does no.5(Yongkang) and 9(Xinyi) get along well?
O.o it doesnt apply for now...kaine intro them leh...

Where is no.2 (Vanessa) studying at?
Kc

Say something casual about no.1 (Sidney).
Bimbotic (:

Have you tried developing feelings for no.8 (Rei-en)?
Err. Nope :/

Where does no.9 (Xinyi) live?
Hmm. somewhere in the west i guess, near st nicks.

What colour does no.4 (Andres) like?
Purple! or maybe red. its according to his crumplerSSS.

Are no.5 (Yongkang) and no.1(Sidney) best friends?
Nope. not very close. but know each other.

Does no.7 (Shaowei) like no.2 (Vanessa)?
No. shaowei bitches about all girls =x

How did you get to know no.2 (Vanessa)?
Studied together in kfc.

Does no.1 (Sidney) have any pets?
Nope. though his house is so damn big...

Is no.7 (Shaowei) the sexiest person in the world?
Not the sexiest, but sexy. His whoosa whoosa is hot man :/

Anyway. it was aulydia's birthday yesterday. i was
supposed to post this last night but i was super sleepy
so went to sleep. sorry >.<

Friday, August 15, 2008

10:52 PM

i want to go venice very badly ): its so nice..

hmm. didnt blog for about a week liao. ca was
manageable lar...physics fail, chem can pass,
ss dont know, english dont know...

band is sian...can i just take a break?

Saturday, August 9, 2008

5:21 PM

its national day today!!!
though im just a permanent resisdent in singapore,
i still feel high lar. i will be joining amry and
changing my national identity soon anyway.

stuck at home doing nothing...no mood to study...
this sucks man. ca is just next week and i havent
even study at all...just did mindmaps...
thats all about today.

yesterday:
went to school for service learning carnival. so
stupid lor...out of so many days must make it
on the eve of national day when we all celebrating
le...

so boring lor the concert...the items performed
is nice but on the wrong occasion...singing fall
for you on a national day celebration a bit off...
school ended after sending the folks onto their
buses.

was damn reluctant to go for amaths lesson.
so slack in canteen then went to watch the soccer
match between 3b and 3d. the obvious thing is
3b will win.
got persuaded by weiloong to go for amaths lesson.
i reached only. all leaving liao... lesson ended T.T
waste time sehh...

went back to the field. the match ended and some
of the spectators started forming teams to play.
i joined in too :/ some of us were playing in long
pants luckily chia not in school...

left at 2 for weiloong's house to change and go
watch mummies with kailynn and jacklyn. was
supposed to meet at 245 in tm. but was late so
we cab from weiloong house to tm. reached there
at 330. met up and went in. yu-en and his friends
there also.

mummies was not bad lar. action-packed. just
that i feel the movie name doesnt fit...after the
movie the girls couldnt finish the nachos. so they
gave weiloong and he think cool. go shake then
spill the cheese on my jacket -.- now so sticky...

met up with alvina and renice for the second movie.
then all dont know what to do. so go eat at pasta
and skipped the movie. i dont want to watch
journey to the center of the earth anyway...looks
so lame...

walked alvina to her mum. then walked home.
jaryl pangseh us...dont want come...

im a sore loser...see you having a new boyfriend i felt damn lousy...
though it is good to see that you are happy now...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

10:42 PM

have love and no need it, need love and not have it...
haix...

went thaipan for lunch again. went back to school,
unpleasant things happened. dont wish to elaborate
on it. talk some sense for dont know how long
before going home.

giving up hopes...

god, when can you be fair to me?

Monday, August 4, 2008

11:40 PM

when i walked into the lift with my neighbour,
they were staring at me like im some alien. i know
my parents' quarrelling is audible from very far.
i didnt dare to look at my neighbours...i know
sometimes they quarrel because i triggered them.
i blame myself for that...why do i always blame
others for my own mistake?

band not doing well, studies not doing well. my life
is just like what oswin said. screwed up.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

11:23 PM

goddamn my family...
fucked up...